Ok, so had dinner with one of my recently divorced friends. She was shocked that I am still not dating anyone (serious or otherwise). She pointed out the different men flirting with me...she reminded me how pretty I am. I know all of this, and I flirt back. I just don't want to date anyone right now. I guess I'm afraid of hurting their feelings. You see, I have dated off and on over the last 3-4 years. Just no one has caught my attention long enough to go on a second date with. Am I being picky - probably, but there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not looking for instant 'love' and I'm not lonely like some people I know. I have children that occupy a majority of my time. Mind you, I also find time for myself (even though it doesn't seem frequent enough). I spend time with my adult friends, going to lunch, dinner, movies, the theatre, etc. at least once a month. I even plan adult only trips - it's a time where us single parents get away to recharge our batteries. I am not sure if I could do that with a significant other in my life. A lot of things would be limited and I don't want that and I don't deserve that.

I have worked hard to have the kind of life we have now...I've come a long way. My kids and I are spoiled in a sense - we definitely don't go without if we want something, mosttimes we get it.

And I have children to think about. My friend does not have a child to be responsible for. It's just her...and that's great. I was there once too. And when I was there, I wasn't living to meet and/or be with a man. I was living to enjoy my live...and learning new things.
I'm still doing that.

Do I miss a male companion? Sure. Do I miss the various commitments and compromises to be given in a relationship - to be honest, NO! I have enough commitments, compromises, responsibilities, etc. at home with my kids and animals and at work.

Do I want someone to come sweep me off of my feet? Sure, why not - and who doesn't?!?! Bring it on!

Today I have corresponded with my mother via email - 2 times today alone. My parents live far away and for the longest time (3 years, 4 months and 9 days) my mother and I did not talk. What a waste. We both are very stubborn. She's a cancer - not sure where the stubborn part comes from on her end - it may be in her rising sign or some other astrological part of her chart. I'm an Aries and can be quite stubborn at times. Mosttimes I'm very kindhearted and free-spirited. I definitely do not enjoy negative people - and my mother (for a period of time) was definitely negative all of the time.
It's weird how things change when you stop eating potato chips and eat healthier. Relationships around you prosper as well - well, in my case it seems the case.

I have friends and family members who have been divorced for a long time, newly divorced, separated, and thinking about divorce - it's just crazy. The ones that have been divorced seem to have returned to their normal selves again. You see, once you remove something from your life (or you remove yourself from your life), everything changes, even you. It takes some time to get to know yourself again. For me, it took about 2-3 years. I had my own goals and desires before marriage, then made new goals, etc. during marriage, then afterwards, I had to take time to reevaluate things and eventually new goals were formed and I even had a desire to do things. It's amazing how it all happens. It's like going on a diet and not seeing any results at first. Then you see some small progress. Then, for some reason, you gain weight back...sort of like a yo-yo. Eventually, if you plug along through the 'crap' you will see the light at the end of the tunnel (or the saying goes).

My friends that are now either newly divorced or thinking about divorce...their poor minds are all jumbled up. They don't know which way is up or which way is down. They are hurt and they are happy. They feel lost and all alone and at times feel free. They feel loved and they don't feel loved. Confusing, I know. Sorry.

I don't know what else I can do for any of them. I am here for them with an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on (even though I'm not much of a crier myself), a friend to travel, shop or dine out with, etc.

All I can do right now is eat - my waffles are done. I need to keep up my energy!

The weatherman finally predicted something right this year - it actually snowed last night. Not a lot but enough to cover everything. I woke up to bright white outside. It's absolutely beautiful.

The parking lot at the kids school was extremely icy though - not safe to drive or walk on. No one was outside clearing the pavement like they had done before. I hope not many kids get sent to the nurse's office today due to the black iced pavement in the play area.
Yikes.

My critters all want to go outside, but it's so cold out there. Everyone is staying in - at least until it all melts.

I just finished paying the bills - yikes. There goes all of my money. It seems like it takes forever to make it and really quick to get rid of it. Not fair.

Fortunately for me, I have managed to save. Amazing, I know. I have enough saved for everyone's first 2 1/2 years of college. I have, what, 1 1/2 more years left of saving to do. Wish me luck. If someone doesn't go to college, I guess I could treat myself to something fun (like a european trip). I have a girl, so I may end up having to pay for a wedding for her. There's plenty of time for that, she's only 10!!!

And the boys, well, I hope I have some more time until everyone starts calling me 'grandma' Yikes! I've talked to them, and still talk to them. I hope I taught them well. I'll keep teaching, I hope they are listening. yikes! And, yes, I've talked to my daughter about some things - she's even learned about some things in class - the SHARE program. We have bought books together - those kinds that tell you about your body and books that provide answers to some questions that you may not feel comfortable asking your parents/family members/guardians.

I hope that I am able to continue to be a good role model in their lives - and I hope that I am able to continue to surround them with other good role models as well.
Everyday is different - so, Wish me luck!

Sunday was a great day to take off. The weather outside was a bit blistery - extreme winds and all. Luckily, we did not lose power. We stayed home and watched movies. We watched the 'Million Dollar Baby' (I liked it); we also watched 'Mission Impossible' (I loved it); and we watched 'Mooseport' (it was funny); and we also watched Charmed and Crossing Jordan.

I was going to continue cleaning (my bedroom is currently being reconstructed - I finally finished installing the last closet organizer...hal'e'lu'ya! My poor back.

This week, I will put things back in the closet - in the new organizers. Yippie.

I didn't eat too bad - I burned a pork roast (shame on me). I haven't done that in years! I usually put the roast in a crock pot - but yesterday, I decided to place it in a roasting pan and in the oven. I forgot to put any liquid in it - and 'poof' it's harder than a rock. Oh well. I guess I'll stick with the crock pot - it's safer for me.

For breakfast on Sat and Sun, I had 2 pancakes (small ones) with 2 sausage links. For lunch, I had a chicken teriyaki rice bowl on Sat and on Sunday I had left over spaghetti. For dinner, I made spaghetti (with red sauce, olives and garlic), and I had it again on Sunday evening (leftovers) with a bunch of broccoli. I had dessert last night...yum-yum-good. Two scoops of vanilla ice cream with bananas. Yummies! For snacks throughout the day (Sat & Sun) I had popcorn, an apple, a banana, some yogurt, raw broccoli, a 'LOOK' candybar, and some cornnuts.

I also drank a lot of water. For breakfast I drank a glass of OJ. I am finally getting tired of OJ. I had it again this morning (Monday) with 2 more pancakes. Ok, enough of repeat foods...I will try to fix something different tomorrow.

Ok, enough food talk. I'm off to run a bunch of errands...oh, and yes, I do work. I think I better make an appearance there today.